January 24th, 2020
I feel like after starting my own business I have more "bad days" than before I started my business.

To be honest, when I look back at when I had a regular job, I never really had any bad days. In fact, I can remember thinking "I don't really understand when people say they have a bad day." I've felt sad and depressed and been dumped and had bad things happen and made bad choices, but I don't remember having much "bad days".

I guess a bad day for me is more when I question "what am I doing with my life?" or "is this all worth it?". 

When deep down, you know you're doing the best thing, but it's hard to see it. When your ego is crushed and you are rejected. That is what gives me a "bad day".

Because for most of my life, I've been very ambitious. So I was never having a "bad day" but seeing bad things as an opportunity to improve and get out of them. For example, I had a shitty corporate job and I used that as motivation to challenge myself to become more technical and got a job at a startup, and then after that to learn to code.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that "bad days" in the past gave me an escape, to try new things and "level up".

But, in a lot of ways, with starting and building a business, there are no "escapes" - it is your lifeblood and it's what will put food on the table. For me, this business and journey that I'm on need to be the focus, and that's what makes it really hard when bad things happen. 

I have to face it and I can't back down.

That's one of the differences between the rest of the population and entrepreneurs, or to be more general, the people that consume and the people that create. I think that being a creator or entrepreneur or politician etc you probably go through this to some degree.

I'm not trying to say one is different than the other, it's just a different kind of wiring of the brain, I think.

And the opposite of bad days are good days, obviously - I can say with certainty that I have more "good days" or at least the good days today are better than the good days of a few years ago.